Brazilian Federal Police Arrest Class XI Tour Bus Driver

By Mike Danna
Louisiana Farm Bureau Federation Public Relations Director

Every adventure has a story. Our story started today.

Here’s a little quiz. What do you get when you cross a bored bus driver with three hours to kill and a group of American farmers touring a cattle farm?

A drunken bus driver, that’s what. Oh, and those same American farmers sitting at a Brazilian Federal Police checkpoint for an hour and a half.

It seems our driver decided he’d throw back a few while we were touring the Pauliceia Cattle Ranch Thursday. Because the road to the ranch was in very poor condition, we had to transfer from the big bus to two smaller buses to make the trek up the mountain. We rendezvoused with the bigger bus and our driver some three hours later at a restaurant in Rondonopolis. It was there that the restaurant’s manager smelled alcohol on the driver’s breath. 

After lunch we loaded up and headed for Cuiaba. But unbeknownst to us, the restaurant manager called the federal police, who stopped us at the very first checkpoint out of town. When three armed federal cops walk up to a tour bus at a place that’s nothing more than a weigh station, you know you’re in trouble. The driver was detained, given a Breathalyzer and soon after arrested and taken away.

Apparently he had a lot to drink. In Brazil the legal limit is anything under .01. Anything between .01 and .03 you’re ticketed, fined and sent on your merry way. However, anything over that and you’re arrested and sent straight to jail. Our driver’s blood alcohol level? .056. Boo-yah.

The police drove the bus to the side of the police station and there we sat for the next 90 minutes until the bus company could send a local driver from Rondonopolis to take us the rest of the way. The delay forced us to cancel our visit to the Cooperbio Biodiesel Plant. 

Needless to say, Geraldine, our guide, was very upset. It was the first time anything like this has happened to her. She informed us that the road to Cuiaba was very winding and dangerous, so we have the restaurant manager to thank for heading off what might have become a very hazardous situation. 

Dr. Soileau took it in stride. The man’s always cool under pressure. He’s traveled enough to know that no plan is perfect. You’ve got to be flexible and able to roll with the punches. He was patient and gave us constant updates on the situation.

In the end the bus company sent a new driver from Cuiaba, who’ll be driving for us the rest of the trip. The manager showed up and was very apologetic, but I’d hate to be around when he contacts our first driver to tell him he’s fired. 

And it’s probably best the cops got to the guy before Geraldiney did. An attractive, formidable, athletic, six-foot blonde of German descent, she looks like she could be a handful. After we were rolling again she came on the bus PA system and apologized. And in her best English she said, “I calm down now, but he almost see the devil come out in Geraldine.”